Straight Back To You
by la-charmante
Summary: A collection of times Zoe realizes that Joel might not be the one for her. And one time she realizes who actually is. [AU of S.3. Joel exists but Vivian does not]


AN : I do not own Hart of Dixie!

I always felt that S.3 lacked alot of angst. There was so little bit back and forth between Zoe and Wade and their unresolved feelings. I think it would have made the season much more enjoyable, so I wrote this as a little twist on some of the scenes we saw in Season 3.

An overall alternate S.3 if you wish. I hope you enjoy it! Reviews keep me writing more stories!

* * *

 **[0 - New York]**

Three weeks into her summer back in New York is when she meets Joel.

She's grabbing her morning coffee at the bakery across from the hospital and is in such a hurry that she slams right into him as he's walking through the door.

Her coffee doesn't spill, but he offers to buy her another cup anyways.

Two months go by.

Soon he's coming by the hospital during her lunch breaks and they fall into a routine where his perfectly in order life fits with hers.

Then a third.

There is no drama, no crazy, and finally she is getting everything she's ever wanted.

They are planning to buy an apartment together.

She stops keeping count.

Right until the moment she has to head back.

Five months later.

* * *

 **[1]**

She's bitten her lip so much that her expensive lipstick is now long faded.

She pulls out the lipstick and a mirror from her purse to reapply the color before shoving them both back in their place.

She tries to convince herself that she's being irrational. She's held a patients life in her hands, and here her hands were trembling because of a tiny town in Alabama.

She can't help it though - she isn't ready for this.

If Joel and her didn't need this reference letter, she wouldn't be here right now.

On a bus five miles from Bluebell.

"Meeting someone important?"

The voice of the stranger sitting next to her jolts her back to reality.

"What?" she asks as she turns to notice that this woman is wearing a dress that is the most pastel shade of purple she's ever seen (which reminds her of the Belles, and parades, and oh my god they're so close.)

"That kind of fidgeting is clearly due to a man. I wouldn't worry about it Sweetheart. A beautiful girl like you, how could anybody not be happy to see you?"

Zoe forces a smile because there are so many reasons why he won't be happy to see her.

She folds her hands in her lap to try to get them to steady as the thought of an old plaid shirt hanging in the back of her closet overtakes her mind.

* * *

Her hand freezes on the handle of her suitcase when she hears him. "Hello, Doc."

And there it was, that sudden aching in her chest again. It does nothing but pull at her heartstrings when she turns to see him on his car, looking at her in a way that she knows he's thinking she's back for him.

She was hoping she could come back and leave unnoticed. In hindsight, she realizes how stupid that was.

Nothing, and nobody, goes unnoticed in Bluebell.

"I'm just here for the night," she clarifies and she watches as his smile immediately fades. She knows he's trying to hide the hurt from his expression before she sees it. But she sees it, because she is no stranger to Wade Kinsella and his reflex to brush everything off as if he feels nothing.

When she knows, in fact, that he feels everything.

If it hadn't been herself who did it, she'd be asking him who broke his heart in such a way that he could look so sad.

Their short conversation is laced with so much hurt and avoidance and it's as though everything they've ever lived is scattered in pieces in the distance between them.

Zoe walks away from him and it's only when she's halfway across the road to the church that her heart finally stops beating like a three a.m thunderstorm.

* * *

A few days later, of course, she has decided to stay which is why she's standing in the Rammer Jammer with Joel.

"How about I get us some drinks. Celebrate our new beginning in Bluebell," Joel offers.

"I'll get them. You mingle." She gives him a soft peck on the cheek, pushes him towards the crowd and heads to the bar.

"Doctor Hart!" Wanda is all smiles. "What can I get ya?"

"Um..." Zoe's eyes dart to Wade chatting with Wally at the other end of the bar. "I think I'll wait."

Wanda follows her gaze,"Oh. Gotcha."

Zoe taps her fingers on the bar-top and turns to see Joel shaking hands with Delma and Frank. He couldn't look any more out of place. She remembers though that once upon a time she was out of place too, but Bluebell has a knack for sneaking up on you.

"Doc." She turns back towards the bar at the sound of Wade's voice. He is looking over her head, most likely at Joel, but he doesn't say anything except ask her what he can get for her.

"Two glasses of red wine, please."

"What kind?"

 _Huh?_

"As I recall, it's always been red or white." She quirks an eyebrow at him and he laughs at her before handing her a wine list. _A wine list! At the Rammer Jammer?_

She grabs it from him, so excited at the prospect, "Wow. I guess it has been a long time."

"More than three months anyway."

The way he says it so casually, as if that's what he expected from her, makes her feel ten times worse than he probably intended.

"Two glasses of pinot noir."

He reaches under the bar for the glasses and she uses the opportunity to tell him she's staying and he nods with a smile playing at his lips. He pours her wine and pushes the glasses towards her. He moves to rest his forearms on the bar, "Welcome back, Doc."

She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling too wide.

"Wade, I hope you can be okay with me and Joel staying here."

"Don't worry about it, Doc. Like I told you, I just hope you're happy."

"And I will try to be okay with you and Lemon too." She tries real hard to not to scrunch up her face as she says Lemon's name. She hasn't been able to wrap her mind around a Bluebell where Wade Kinsella and Lemon Breeland are dating.

"Look Zoe. About Lemon." She knows he's going to say something important because he seldom calls her Zoe. She hadn't forgotten how her name sounded with his accent. She'd only forgotten how much she liked it.

Wade's eyes are now on Lemon coming towards him. Zoe's looking at him looking at her and it's bothering her. He grabs Lemon's face and kisses her. His hands are on either side of her face and Zoe bites down on her own lip without realizing it. She knows just how those hands would feel and it's really bothering her. _It shouldn't. Stop it._

Joel's perfect timing saves her from having to spend another minute standing there. He comes up to her complaining about fried food and she pulls him away from the bar.

She hopes that staying in Bluebell was the right decision.

* * *

 **[2]**

A month back in Bluebell and things were starting to look up.

She's working the late night shift at the practice on a Monday. Only because Brick wanted to spend time with Shelby. She's convinced it's also because he was certain that nobody would be coming in so there was no chance of her treating any patients. Clearly, there was still a long way to go before getting back in Brick's good graces. At the least the rest of the town didn't hate her anymore.

She's got her feet propped up on her desk and is sending a goodnight text to Joel when the little bell above the practice door jingles.

 _Yes! An actual patient! Take that Brick Breeland!_

She darts out of her chair and into the hall and lets out an audible moan when she sees who it is.

"Wow. Bedside manner, Doc. Still not workin' for ya I see."

"What do you want, Wade?"

"Medical help." She rolls her eyes because he's so annoying and he chuckles because that's probably just the reaction he was hoping to get from her. "But I mean, I guess I could just go home. Potentially die if that's Doctors orders."

She motions for him to follow her into the exam room. Before she can ask him what's wrong, he's unbuttoning his flannel shirt (that blue one she used to wear) and casually sits on the exam table.

"So. I might have gotten into a little bit of trouble with a very large gentleman."

"Oh, let me guess. He had a very pretty blonde girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend. Though apparently not accordin' to him." He pushes the left side of his shirt away and she notices the hints of a bruise developing on his abdomen. "I think I broke a rib."

She lightly presses the pads of her fingers against his ribcage and his eyes crinkle. She utters a quick sorry for the pain.

"Nothing is broken," she says as she pulls her hands away from his skin. "But it's going to be sore for a couple of days. An icepack wouldn't be the worst idea."

As he's sitting there, the déjà vu is a little hard for her to ignore and her eyes zero-in on the tiny scar on his chest. She knows to look for it because of Bluebell heatwaves and (almost) kisses.

"That one barely left a scar," his voice breaks the silence.

She tears her eyes away from his chest and catches his gaze with hers.

Suddenly the tension in the room becomes so thick and she feels like she can't breathe.

She takes a step back from the exam table. He clears his throat and starts buttoning his shirt.

She doesn't look at him anymore.

"Zoe," he tries to get her attention but she'd rather he just leave.

"You're welcome, Wade. Goodnight."

She walks out to the front desk, grabs the closest piece of paper and starts scribbling down some information.

 _Wade Kinsella. 11:38. Rib._

"That's some great record keepin'. Are all the files as detailed as mine?" She looks up to find him peering at her over the counter.

"Doc, c'mon. Last I heard you wanted us to coexist. So why've you been avoiding me like I'm carrying the plague?"

"I have not! We're just not in the same circle anymore."

He chuckles and she realizes how dumb her excuse was because Bluebell is just one big circle. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't even have an explanation for why she's avoiding him.

"Listen, come by the Rammer Jammer. Shakespeare is there 24/7. I think he might be fallin' in love with me."

She laughs because she can believe it. Joel is so enamored with Wade.

"I guess I could come by for a drink sometime."

He smiles such a genuine smile that she can't help but smile back.

"You could. I even have your favorite wine on hand."

She knows he means from the box.

She narrows her eyes at him, and that only makes him smile wider and she doesn't know how he can so easily make it feel like it did before. Easy.

"She was brunette by the way," he hollers right before leaving.

* * *

 **[3]**

The house they've bought in Bluebell is what they would call a project in the South. The cabinets need to go. The floors need sanding. The bathroom tiles are god awful (maybe even worse than the original ones in her old carriage house.) In fact, the whole place needs a major remodel to suit her particular taste.

She watches Joel wander the house. One of the cabinets comes flying off and falls to the floor just as he pulls at the handle.

"Joel," she screeches at sudden the noise, her hands coming to her mouth. "Are you ok?"

"Well. That's nice." He stares at the old cabinet now lying against the kitchen floor. He wipes his hands off on his ironed pants and continues wandering the space with a look of disbelief on his face.

She doesn't understand why they aren't putting the place back up for sale. It just needs too much work. Joel wouldn't be able to do it. He's as helpless with tools as she is. Which is fine. That's why contractors exist. In New York they'd hire one and be done with it.

But for some reason it doesn't feel quite right in Bluebell to hire somebody. She can't help but remember Wade's dedication to fixing her place. He had worked tirelessly to make her little carriage house into a home she never even knew she wanted. She wonders sometimes if maybe he wanted to make it as reminiscent to her New York City apartment as he could.

Trying to make her find home in Bluebell so she wouldn't ever leave.

Joel comes barging back into the kitchen before she can continue thinking dangerous thoughts like that. Thoughts that make the ache in her chest throb a little harder.

"I'm going to get my tools and fix this place up."

"You don't have any tools," she points out.

"Technically, no. But I know where to get some."

Of course. Joel has decided that his new BFF has to be Wade. This is clearly some cosmic joke on her. _Ha Ha Ha. She's over it._

She should have realized how bad the situation had gotten when he told her he had named his new male protagonist Wiley Kincaid.

Joel kisses her cheek and runs out of the house.

She walks to the cabinet door strewn across the floor and kicks it. "Stupid Wiley Kincaid."

* * *

 **[4]**

She's having drinks with Lavon at the Rammer Jammer because ever since Joel's gone to Los Angeles for his book she's been keeping herself busy with work to avoid thinking about anything else.

Lavon is still mopey himself about his failed love life, so about two hours into their soirée he's heading back home.

She stays because she's got a boyfriend who is still miles away from her in Los Angeles and she's lonely and afraid he won't come back.

She needs more alcohol.

She saunters over to the bar and plops down onto the nearest barstool.

"Bartender, a shot of bourbon."

"You sure there, Doc?"

"Save it Wade. Just pour it."

An hour later (or two?) she's pushing her now fitth? Maybe seventh? empty shot glass across the bar. "One more," she slurs.

Wade's wiping down some glasses and he doesn't even look at her, just shakes his head with a smile on his face.

"No, I think you've had enough."

"What? It isn't even last call!"

He snorts a laugh and she frowns at him. "Last call was 2 hours ago. And technically we're closed now. So I no longer have to be your charmin' bartender."

Zoe twists on the barstool (a little too quick because she almost face plants down onto the floor) and notices that there isn't a single person in the bar anymore. _Oh._

"Let me drive you home Doc. I'm done here," he says as he comes around the bar, switching the lights off on his way.

"That won't be necessary," she remarks flippantly. "I can walk."

She gets off the stool and was going to soon be acquainted with the freshly mopped Rammer Jammer floor if it hadn't been for a pair of arms wrapping themselves around her waist and lifting her up.

"Yeah. You're walkin' real great there."

She doesn't remember how Wade got her to get in his car, she's fairly certain she was being difficult, but she wakes to his hand gently shaking her shoulder and the slow hum of a country song coming from the radio.

She could pretend to be embarrassed, but he's seen her worst than this so she settles for just thanking him. He gets out of the car first and by the time she unbuckles her seatbelt he's opening the passenger side door for her. He crosses his arms over the top of the car door as he waits for her to get out, which takes her a little longer than acceptable she must admit.

She stumbles out and she sees his hand almost reach out to grab her again but she's a lot steadier than she was at the bar, her buzz having slowly worn off.

His face is close to hers, the red door of his car creating a barrier between them.

"Thanks for keeping the Rammer Jammer open for me an extra hour."

"Two hours, Doc. Two."

She laughs and leans back against the side of his car with a sigh. Her heels dig into the soft dirt and she really should stop wearing these here.

"Anyway," he says as pushes the door closed and comes to lean against it next to her, "I figured you needed it."

"I'm pathetic, I know."

"You're not, Doc. You're just worried he won't come back. He'd be crazy not to if you ask me."

She'd forgotten how easily he could always read her.

There's always so much left unsaid between them but there's this string that holds them together even when everything else seems to be falling apart. They stand there in silence, looking at her dark carriage house. She thinks they might have had a real chance and it hurts a little still to think about how they fell apart, but she's not too stubborn to see that he's changed and she thinks she's finally able to tell him that.

Because she knows he needs to hear it, especially from her.

"You know Wade, I'm proud of you."

He turns to catch her gaze with his and she smiles seeing that glint in his eyes. He's so easy to read, he wears his heart on his sleeve. Always has.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. What you've done with the Rammer Jammer is incredible."

She sees him smile to himself and she feels that ache in her chest again. She knows he needed to hear that. That something he has done is enough.

They spend a couple more minutes outside her house.

Maybe the two loneliest hearts in Bluebell tonight.

* * *

 **[5]**

She's picking up take out from Fancies for herself when her cellphone buzzes in her purse. This is probably Joel texting her the latest from Los Angeles. Her face falls when she fishes it out of her purse and sees that Lavon's name is flashing across the screen.

 _Crazy Earl. Surgery._

She shoves her phone back in her purse and throws the cash on the counter to cover the food she would no longer be waiting for.

Her hands were shaking the entire drive to Mobile Hospital. She's out of breath as she rushes through the hospital doors. She starts looking around the waiting room, her eyes jumping from one worried face to another. George was talking to the nurse, probably trying to get any information he could on Earl's condition. Lemon was passing a coffee to Annabeth. Zoe's eyes scan the room a second time, before she turns to Lavon who has appeared by her side.

"Lavon, where is he?"

"He's in surgery but-"

Zoe shakes her head. That's not the _he_ she is referring to.

"I don't know, Z. He just stormed out of here when they took Earl in."

She doesn't need to spend another minute thinking about it, she knows exactly where's he's gone.

She makes the drive back to Bluebell and soon enough she's pulling open the church doors. They feel as heavy as her heart does right now. She spots him hunched over in the pew dedicated to his mother - right where he had a Christmas ago encouraged his father to try again.

She knows Wade can hear her coming from the click of her heels, but he doesn't look her way even when she sits down next to him. She brings her hand up to his back and feels his muscles relax under her touch. The familiar feel of worn flannel against her skin gives her comfort too.

"Wade," she whispers,"It's gonna be okay." She really doesn't know if it will be, but she hopes with everything that it will because she knows he can't handle a break like this.

When he finally looks at her, it only takes her a moment to notice the tears glazing his eyes. She knows he is terrified of losing his father who was the one person who hadn't completely abandoned him.

She feels her own eyes welling up because she's only ever seen him this distraught once before: on a park bench where they both broke each others hearts.

She moves closer to him to wrap her arm around his shoulders, burying her own face in the crook of his neck. They spend maybe thirty minutes quietly in that church pew before he gets up.

He places a kiss against his fingers and taps them against his mother's name engraved on the bench (Zoe swears she almost feels her own heart break) before taking Zoe's hand in his.

Five cups of coffee and a successful surgery later, Earl makes it out fine. He promises once and for all to never have another drink.

"Pretty Doctor, I promise." He kisses her hand and Zoe's gaze shifts to Wade's sleeping form on the small chair in the corner of Earl's room.

"You really scared him there Earl. You have to be here to take care of him Earl. He loves you so much."

"I was hoping you could take care of him too, Pretty Doctor."

The way he says it is so sincere and hopeful. Zoe cannot help but smile at him.

"I gotta go. I'll let your doctor know that I'll be checking up on you when you get back home."

She walks out the room to where Lavon is still waiting for her and they drive back to Bluebell.

Her heart however is back in a little hospital room where a father and son could have lost it all.

* * *

A couple days later, Zoe spends hours going over every dress in her closet until she finds the perfect fit for tonight. It's been a long time since her and Joel have been able to have a little date night in Bluebell. Amidst their house still being under construction, Joel traveling back and forth from LA to Bluebell and her own efforts at getting back in Brick's good graces they had forgotten to leave time just for themselves. And he was only back in town for two days before needing to head back so she needed this to go perfectly.

She walks over to Lavon's after having finished putting on her favorite Louboutin platforms. She knows that he is going to roll his eyes at having to tell her whether this outfit was cute enough, but deep down she knew that he would never admit that it was growing on him to be her "girlfriend" again.

"Lavon, tell me this isn't the perfect dress for my date tonight!" She croons as she swings open the door to the kitchen.

But Lavon isn't the one sitting at the kitchen counter. Wade is.

"Oh. Sorry. I was looking for Lavon." Her hand is still frozen on the doorknob.

"Just missed him," he says matter of factly.

They haven't talked since that night in the church. She doesn't know why it feels so different between them. As if there is so much more left unsaid than before. They've seen eachother naked thousands of times, but there's a different level of intimacy when you let somebody see you at your complete point of unraveling. That night in the church, he had laid himself completely bare before her.

She's swaying from one foot to the other now. The floor had grown interesting to her. She brings her eyes up to his and notices how he's staring at her.

"It's the perfect dress for your date," he says from his perch on the stool. Her heart is being terrible. She wishes it would stop fluttering.

He's looking at her like he always did. She's having a hard time dealing with how after all this time he could still look at her like that. Like he always wanted to drag her right back to his bed. She wishes he would stop looking at her like that.

He grabs his beer off the counter and pushes off the barstool.

He stops a couple steps short of her and clears his throat that way he does when he's nervous.

"Listen Zoe. I never got a chance to thank you for that night with Earl. I was a mess and -"

She holds a hand up, "It was nothing Wade. Really."

"Right. You're a doctor." His free hand rubs at the back of his neck. "You would have done the same for anybody."

The way he says it, it's almost a question. "No. I didn't do it because I'm a doctor."

 _I did it because you never ask anybody to be there for you, to take care of you._

"Wow. Don't you look beautiful," Joel comes into the kitchen then and Wade breaks his eyes from her gaze. "Hey Wade. Zoe told me about what happened to your dad. So glad to hear he is feeling better!"

"Thanks buddy," Wade says before taking a swig of his beer.

They are all just standing there and Zoe can't handle how awkward this is. Apparently Wade felt the same because he's the first to break the silence. "Well, you two have fun. I gotta head back to the Rammer Jammer."

He's out the door and out of sight.

When her and Joel finally are finally making their way to the little theatre outside of town, she tries to ignore how when Joel tells her he loves her dress she's hearing somebody else's voice say it.

* * *

Joel's arm is around her waist as they sit on her carriage house couch detailing the events of their day. His fingers are tracing slow circles on the exposed skin of her hip where her shirt has ridden up.

Soft. No pressure.

Her eyes catch onto the lights reflecting on the pond from the gatehouse. She focuses her attention back on what Joel is saying before her mind can wander to memories of tanned skin and sandy hair. She turns to Joel and smiles as he tells her about how he finally got another full chapter written and continues to hold onto her waist.

Soft. No pressure.

She wishes his fingers would press a little harder.

To show her that he was afraid that if he didn't hold on tight enough she would be out of reach soon enough.

* * *

 **[6]**

When they break up, it's not messy.

It was no surprise. Their time apart, him in los angeles and her in Bluebell, had finally shown them that they weren't eachothers _forever._

There is no yelling. No burning of boots.

Just a mutual understanding that they are not really meant for each other.

Amidst this, Zoe had started to realize that her _forever_ might have been exactly where she never thought she belonged in the first place.

* * *

 **[7]**

It's been two months since Joel and her have broken up.

Their house was sold.

She's making headway with Brick.

Everything is going back to normal.

Well, almost everything.

She spends all night staring at Wade at the Rammer Jammer. Lavon follows her gaze and nudges her arm.

"Big Z, something catch your eye?" She kicks him underneath the table and he laughs but that doesn't stop him from waving Wade over. Zoe narrows her eyes at Lavon. What a traitor!

Wade and her have been on normal speaking terms ever since Joel's left. They have breakfast together in the mornings. She comes in for lunch at the Rammer Jammer. They eat dinner with Lavon at night.

There's always food involved she realizes in their interactions now.

"Hey Wade, great turnout tonight."

"Yeah, who knew Meatball's cousin would be so great."

Zoe laughs and Wade catches her eye with a smile. "Need a refill, Doc? On the house, of course."

She doesn't know why she wishes he would make a joke. Tell her he would only serve her boxed wine.

"You sure may," she realizes she sounds a little drunk. _Oops._ Wade heads back to the bar and she hides her face in her hands.

"Lavon!" She whines and he's laughing a lot harder now. He's always found her misfortunes with Wade to be just hilarious. She sneaks a quick glance at Wade behind the bar. He's got her wine glass in his hand but some guy is holding him up at the bar.

"I miss him."

"He's right in this room, Big Z"

"So?"

Lavon sighs and he gets his _"I'm the mayor of this town"_ look on his face and Zoe knows he's about to say something that she has to listen to and that she's probably not going to want to hear.

"Listen Z. I was here when you were gone. He hurt alot you know, so if you're expecting him to do something again he won't. It's all on you. If you're serious about it. I don't think he can handle another break."

She heads home and watches Wade's gatehouse all night from her window.

She wonders when she became such a stalker.

He gets home around two in the morning. She looks at him push his door open and disappear into his little dark house all by himself.

She could probably give him heartfelt apologies for the rest of her life and it still wouldn't be enough for leaving him behind. For saying goodbye in an e-mail to somebody who told her he loved her in a way nobody ever did before.

But she's scared too, because while she has forgiven him, she doesn't know how to put herself on the line with him.

What if he's had enough?

* * *

 **[x]**

About three weeks later, the fuse blows. _(By accident she swears)_

This hasn't happened in a while and when she doesn't hear the familiar cursing from across the pond, it almost doesn't feel right.

She waits about thirty minutes before walking out in the dark to the fusebox but he isn't there fixing it. Maybe he isn't home?

"What, no stick this time?" She jumps at the sound of his voice.

It's dark out, but her eyes can't trail away from what she can see of his bare chest under his unbuttoned flannel. Was there a girl with him tonight? She might just cry.

She steps away from the fusebox to let Wade take a look and she sways from one foot to the other as she watches him.

He turns to her as he snaps the door to the fusebox shut and wipes his hands against his jeans. He's getting uncomfortable she can tell because his usually steady hands are fidgety. One of his hands then moves to rub at the back of his neck. She keeps staring at him.

"Go home doc." he insists. "I'll fix it. I gotta head to Lavon's to grab my tools. I was fixin' up his sink the other day and forgot them there."

"I'll come with you." His eyes widen a little and he's got this look on his face like he's wondering _why?_ "To keep you company," she quickly adds and simultaneously cringes at how stupid it sounds.

He shrugs and starts buttoning his shirt as they walk to Lavon's, neither saying a word the whole way there.

He can't find his toolbox.

He's mumbling something under his breath about how Lavon needs to stop tidying everything as he's bent over with his head buried in the cabinets near the stove.

"I don't think Lavon would put your tools with his gumbo pot," she says from her perch on the countertop.

"Well, I can't wake him up. So I guess, no electricity tonight." He closes the cabinet door, making sure to not make any noise that would alert Lavon to their presence at this hour.

"So..."

He quirks an eyebrow at her. "You're being weird, Doc." He turns to the fridge to grab a beer she's sure because is Wade Kinsella without a beer in his hand really Wade Kinsella?

She uses the opportunity of him not staring at her to ask her question. She knows if Lavon was here he'd be rolling his eyes at how much of a coward she is being.

"Wade, do you ever think about it? About you and me, I mean."

She notices his back tense up and he shuts the refrigerator door without grabbing anything. He straightens up and leans back against the counter on the other side. She can tell he's thinking about what to say, how much to say or if he should just head back to his gatehouse.

"When you first left, all the time." She doesn't know why she's holding her breath as he speaks. "Then when you came back, I tried not to because you were happy and you were here and I wanted that to be enough." He shoves his hands deep in the pockets of his worn jeans. Zoe follows the movement so she doesn't have to look at his face. "And now that you're right here again, I think about it all the damn time. But it doesn't matter if I think about it Doc if you're not thinkin' about it."

"What if I am?"

He shakes his head and looks at her like she was the waves of the sea, threatening to crush everything in him.

"There's no _if_ Doc. You are. Or you aren't."

She pushes off the counter to get closer to him. She doesn't have her shoes on anymore, having toed them off when they made it back to Lavon's kitchen. She's having to tilt her head up a little, having almost forgotten how he towers over her.

She's careful but she realizes she has to make the move.

She's the one who ran away from him so she must be the one to run back.

She brings her hands up to his bare shoulders and entwines her arms around his neck. She feels the goosebumps scatter across his tanned forearms and she takes comfort in the fact that she can still make him feel this way.

"Zoe," her name falls from his lips like a prayer, like he's telling himself not to. In the darkness, she's feeling a little more bold and so she covers his lips with hers.

His lips feel just as they did before. They are rough and in the quiet of Lavon's kitchen all she hears is the sound of their labored breathing. His tongue is licking at her bottom lip and she moans into his mouth and he deepens the kiss like he always likes to do. His hands have moved from gripping the counter to low on her waist. He pushes her back towards the centre island until he's got her body trapped between his own and the counter. His arms wrap around her waist and lift her up onto the cold countertop. The movement surprises her and she moans into his mouth as he presses himself against her.

"Shhh," he whispers against her lips.

She hides her face in his neck as his hands push up her skirt, bunching it around her thighs.

The kitchen counter is cold against the backs of her legs, but she couldn't care less. His hands are hot.

His lips press quick kisses against her now bare chest, having shed her tank top seconds ago. She can't help but moan again because she'd forgotten how good it could be. How electric they always were together.

"You gotta be quiet, Doc."

"Okay. Okay. I can do it." She winds her arms tighter around his neck.

He bites on her ear. She moans and he chuckles when she pulls at his hair.

"Cheater! Stop laughing."

"I know you won't be able to be quiet."

He pulls back and stares at her as his hands rub gentle circles on the exposed skin of her waist.

She presses her forehead against his, "so take me someplace where I won't have to be."

* * *

They make it out of Lavon's kitchen and back to his gatehouse. She's got her legs secured around his waist and they fall onto his bed like they've done so many times before. He smells just like he did before, like flannel and woods and home.

"Wade, I have to tell you something," she says as she's pushing at his shoulders.

He looks down at her, eyes wide, "now?"

She nods her head and he rolls off her, laying on his back with a groan. She shifts on the bed and straddles his hips. His hands come to rest on her thighs. She plays with the chain around his neck.

"You're stalling doc."

"I just want to tell you - did you always know I'd come back?"

"That's not telling me anythin' doc. That's askin' me."

She slaps at his chest and waits, letting him know she's being serious.

"I just wanted you to find what you were looking for. I guess I hoped it would bring you right back here." She knows _here_ is not just Bluebell. But here. With him. "Right here without you thinking it was so bad to end up with me," he slides his palms up her thighs and up to her waist.

"Wade, I never didn't want to end up with you. We weren't ready then."

"We are now?"

She nods and smiles down at him. "I guess I wanted to say I just realized I like this picture a lot better than my old one."

He laughs and pushes himself up to press his lips against hers. "It's a pretty sexy picture," he mumbles against her lips. She pushes him back down.

"I love you, Wade."

"Yeah, I know that."

He rolls her over and buries his face in her neck. She can't stop smiling because tonight he feels just like the Wade Kinsella she's missed so much.

"Say it again"

"I love you, Wade Kinsella"

* * *

 _go on and run but I hope when you're done,_

 _you'll run straight back to me._

 _back to me_

 _back to me_

 _back to us._


End file.
